Three Qualities of Love

By Doug Allen

The ancient spiritual teachings say that everything in creation is composed of three qualities. These qualities are so intrinsic to the human experience that the overall layout of the pyramids of Teotihuacan is based upon them. Theses qualities are known as Inertia, Action and Purity. They are represented by Fire, Sun and Moon.

Even Love is expressed through these qualities and I've outlined some of the expressions of love that fall into each quality.

To start with, Fire is the type of love that says, “If you love me, you will _____”. This is the kind of love that is self-centered and makes demands. It is in a state of inertia as the person expressing this quality in love wants others to do for them, without thought of reciprocity. It is a taking quality of love.

The Solar quality of love says, “I will love you, if you love me”. This is a type of love that demands reciprocity. If you tell this person that you don’t love them anymore, they will stop loving you. This is a give and take quality of love. It is possessive in nature.

The Lunar quality of love says, “I will love you without conditions”. This type of love looks like it is a giving form of love, and in a way it is, but for the person expressing it the feeling is more one of sharing. This form of love arises complete within itself and is accepting in nature. It needs no outside support or validation.

The Fire quality comes from a place of powerlessness. This type of person has very little energy with which to give, and so must take. This form of love can be parasitic, if only because the person isn’t capable of a higher expression. This is not to say that it is wholly negative, as we all started life at this level. It is a stage in the progression of love’s expression.

The Solar love is the one we are most familiar with since it is the one that is romanticized. It is hot and passionate. It is all about power exchange and seduction.

The Lunar love is the one we tend to aspire to. It is powerful in that it is self-effulgent-not needing any external validation. This is a supremely free state of love. If it is shunned, it still remains equally radiant.

The Fire love doesn’t care who feeds it, as long as it gets fed. The Solar love is highly selective. The Lunar love is impersonal. This doesn’t mean that Lunar love is somehow aloof, it means that the same love shines on all beings equally. It is a divine form of love.

The Fire love is stagnant; it immovably sucks the energy of others and no matter how much is given, nothing changes. The Solar love is short-lived; it is a flash of intensity that can’t be maintained. All lovers know the feeling when the high of the Solar love recedes. The Lunar love is a cool stream of pure water that never stops flowing.

We can’t think of any of these expressions as good or bad, yet instead we can discern when in our life it is most appropriate to express each form. We can have the ability to move into any one of these at any time.

When we are sick, we can allow ourselves to be in the Fire mode, and let someone take care of us. When taking care of someone sick, the Lunar mode works best. When we want to merge with a lover, we moved in the Solar energy.

Of course, if applied at the wrong time, each form can cause trouble. We don’t want to be in the impersonal Lunar mode when starting a relationship, nor in the Solar mode with everyone we come across. We can’t be in the Fire mode when our presence is needed by another.

A relationship with a life partner needs all three. It needs the steadfastness of the Fire, the occasional passion of the Solar and the long-lived flow of the Lunar.

Become a master of love by recognizing these qualities and how to best use them in your life.